Courage

I recently finished a novel called The Bee Sting. It was a wild ride through the life of one family—full of twists, turns, and heartbreaks. Bad things kept happening to the main character, Dickie, to the point where you start asking, Why him again? The other characters faced their share of challenges too, but Dickie? It was just one blow after another.

Looking back with the benefit of hindsight and understanding the arc of the story, it becomes clear that “poor” Dickie was actually making a series of poor choices. Each decision led to more choices—each with its own consequences. It was a cascade. And while Dickie was clearly a smart guy, what he lacked was courage. He was afraid to speak his truth—afraid of hurting someone, of being misunderstood, or of facing rejection.

That really hit home for me. I’ve certainly had moments when I held back my point of view because I worried it wouldn’t be well-received. Maybe people would think I was weird, or too different. Have you ever felt that way?

What’s interesting is that, in hindsight, I sometimes realized my perspective had real merit—maybe even the potential to improve the outcome.

So it begs the question: What is your family, your community, your organization missing out on because you didn’t speak up?

Each of us brings a unique lens to our work and lives. As Kim Scott argues, when we practice radical candor—speaking with honesty in a way that is both caring and respectful—we build trust. People learn they can count on us to speak the truth, even when it’s hard to hear.

It’s about shifting from a fear of rejection to a sense of responsibility. I shared this idea with a client recently, and it changed the game for him. Once he understood that he had a duty to share what he was seeing, everything shifted. His colleagues and leaders began to perceive him differently, and the decisions that followed were stronger for it. He found the courage to speak up—offering his perspective backed by evidence—and was able to help steer the organization away from a potentially bad deal.

Of course, not every situation is safe or wise to speak up in. Dickie had deep secrets, and sometimes silence is a form of self-protection. That’s where our judgment comes into play. We must weigh the risks and rewards. But when it is safe—when we can speak—let’s not miss the opportunity.