Where did I leave my confidence?

As a coach, I’ve noticed a concerning pattern with some of my female clients—second-guessing, underestimating, and undervaluing themselves. These are accomplished, educated professionals who have repeatedly demonstrated their competence. Yet, when faced with new opportunities, they sometimes hesitate and hold back, declining to take on a challenge because they've lost the confidence they once had.

I could be talking about myself fifteen years ago. Throughout my life, I lacked confidence and missed out on incredible opportunities because I sold myself short.

When my clients express these doubts, I ask them a simple question: "Why were you hired or promoted into your current role?" Slowly, they begin to articulate what makes them exceptional and why they stand out.

Then, I encourage them to recall a time they faced a tough situation and overcame it—what strategies did they use, and where did their confidence come from?

Psychologists have long noted that self-confidence—the belief in one’s ability to accomplish a task—is second only to ability in explaining differences in performance. Of course, we’ve all encountered people whose confidence far outweighs their actual abilities. So the key is finding the balance: having enough confidence to embrace challenges where you have a reasonable chance of success.

Confidence leads to action, which can lead to success, which in turn, strengthens confidence.

Confidence increases credibility, helps you make a great first impression, and enables you to tackle personal and professional challenges. It helps put others at ease too.